Contain & Control by Jacob Blouse

Jacob Blouse   -  

I go to school at RC3 University every Monday night. With this school coming to an end and graduation being right around the corner, I have been reflecting what all God has done through me during this process. We have taken a deep dive into studying how to have an extraordinary life and relationship living with the Holy Spirit. When I started this journey, I had low expectations because I didn’t think I could learn much about having a relationship with the Spirit since I have been a Christian for so long. I am so thankful that I had never been more wrong!

One of my favorite parts about my Monday night classes is before we dive into studies, we start out with worship. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I am always down for some worship! We would always sing some of my favorites but there was one song that captivated me one night. I have sung it many times. We even sing it regularly in Impact Worship on Sunday afternoons.

“Set a fire down in my soul, that I can’t contain, that I can’t control. I want more of you God.”

As we were singing, I heard one of the instructors say, “I hope they know what they are asking for.”

My mind still ponders over that lyric, “I can’t contain, I can’t control.”

Is that really what we want? To literally have no control over something inside you? I mean,

lets face it. We live in a culture that has a big push towards everyone needing to be independent. So why do we need a Spirit inside us that we can’t control? To me, you need to answer that question with these questions… How has your life choices been without the Spirit? Do you really feel in control of your life? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, but feel a disconnection? These are can be hard questions to answer and I have been in the same place before. The Holy Spirit is a gift from God. It is what connects us to Him.  Lets take a look at this verse where Jesus reveals this gift.

“Loving me empowers you to obey my commands. I will ask the Father and He will give you another Savior, The Holy Spirit of Truth, who will be to you a friend just like me – and He will never leave you. The world will not receive Him because they cannot see Him or know Him. But you will know Him intimately because He remains with you and will live inside you.” John 14:15-17

Jesus knew that we would need help in life’s journey. I love that He says the Spirit will be a friend just like He is.

So back to the question… Why would I want the Spirit in my life that I can’t contain or control? Everyone has to answer this question for themselves, but as for me… I have spent too much of my life, living without that intimate relationship, and I have seen how stale of Christian I had become. My life without pursuing this relationship had caused me to become self-centered and blinded to who I am in Christ. I NEED the Holy Spirit as a fire in me that I can’t contain or control, because I just mess everything up on my own.

In Luke 15, we read the parable of the Prodigal Son and his journey away from his father, and his inspiring return back to the father with open arms. I read this parable that Jesus taught and often feel like I best related to the oldest son who stayed by the father’s side. We read this story and view the youngest son who left as a lost child in a distant land. While that is true… the oldest son is just as lost at home. He is by his father’s side, yet blinded to the loving examples his father showed because he feels like he is entitled for being the “good son.”

I felt that way. Like, because I have been a Christian for so long, that entitled me to better treatment from God. All along while I was trying to live as a Christian… My relationship with Him was suffering.

Over this process of school, my eyes have been opened to finally see that my relationship with God was stale because I had not fully pursued an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. That connection with God that I needed wasn’t there because I didn’t know how to communicate. Instead, I became bitter because I was living as a Christian my whole life, wanting God to do all the talking while not realizing that a relationship goes both ways when communicating.  This is why many of us live a stale Christian life.

This has caused such a jump-start to my heart. I am hearing God speak to me more clearly than ever before because I am learning how to speak back and have a conversation with the Spirit. This has been a process and I know I’m just getting started but it has already changed my life.

A lot of what I have written here is very personal to me, but I am not ashamed of it. It is a part of my testimony and I write this for the purpose of those who can relate to my story.

Have you ever felt the way I did? Like your relationship with God isn’t growing because you struggle to hear His voice speak to you through the Spirit?

I want to encourage you to grow in that relationship. Like any relationship, It will take time to get to know Him fully and hear Him speak. Be mindful, because the devil will do everything he can to keep you from knowing the Father fully.

Remember, there is a difference between knowing who God is, and knowing God.

Two books that were very helpful for me was, “Being Intimate With God” and “When God Doesn’t Make Sense” both by author Larry Reese.

I encourage you read scripture, pray. Not just pray a rehearsed prayer, but talk to Him because He is your friend.

Feel free to reach out to me if you are struggling in this area or have any questions about the material I have used on this journey of seeking the extraordinary relationship with the Holy Spirit.